Luminoso
Princeton essay prompt:
Tell us about yourself if such a way that we know who you are.

Here we go:


Dear Princeton counselor,
I am sorry to inform you that Eric is unable to complete this essay requirement at the present time. But as his faithful desk lamp and self-designated secretary, I have volunteered to try my best to fill his shoes, metaphorically speaking. Apparently Eric has something called “acute impact trauma.” Last week he passed out and fell backwards out of his chair while writing college application essays. Talk about traumatic; I saw the whole thing happen. Poor kid, he had just gotten over that broken nose he got while playing soccer. Anyway, I am here to tell you a bit about Eric.
Eric is a hard worker. I watch him study and toil at homework almost every night. From Calculus to Economics to Spanish and back again, he always seems do his best and to complete his homework on time. Sadly, I cannot tell you about his English classes, as he chooses to do those essays somewhere else in the house. After finished writing an essay, however, he comes up to his room muttering something about “subjective answers” and “stupid topics.” He must be one of those right-brain people, if you know what I mean. He never complains about his Linear Algebra proofs, in other words.
I can tell you a lot more about Eric from what I see here in his room. For one, he must be a big sports fan. He has baseball and basketball memorabilia hung around the room, not to mention those annoying trophies that keep reflecting the sun into my eye when I am trying to sleep. Eric likes to listen to rock music on his radio, though he plays classical music or music in Spanish when he is trying to study. He keeps a wealth of duffel bags and backpacks in his closet, which he fills up when he goes “camping” each month. I am not really sure what that entails; all I know is that I get a two-day vacation to visit my family downstairs through the electrical current. Finally, Eric often likes to practice juggling with three or four little yellow balls with smiley faces on them. These balls talk to each other in Chinese when Eric leaves the room. Could you tell him that they are really scaring the rest of us in here?
I hope this has helped you learn a bit about my master, Eric. If you need to know anything else, just relay the request through the main electric circuit and I will get it next time Eric turns me on.
Yours truly,
Luminoso the Lamp
P.S. It’s really hard to type without any kind of hands, and I keep blinding myself when I look at the computer screen. Tell Eric to give me a raise for this.




good idea? bad idea? your thoughts?